Psephomancy (psephomant) wrote in professors,

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good AFTERNOON kids

As you know class was cancelled thanks to the lovely 15 minute rule last time, thanks to those who stayed but it really wasn't necessary and you were wasting valuable time getting high or breaking things or whatever it is you little hoodlums do between classes. I myself had a good time skipping class and vegetating. A professor skipping class seems a ludicrous idea I know but it seemed necessary and I have nothing worth teaching and really I don't think I could've standed have 20 little faces staring at me in anticipation of the eureka moment that would never come. Especially with thisgroup. but don't let my little tirade get you down. get some speed in you and you should function like never mind, that only works in gerbils, and they start pulling their hair out and eating their babies eventually anyway.

::the class stares at her bewildered. She proceeds to take out a camera and snaps a picture of them:: Now I can show Zantania what a herd of confused lemurs looks like. Jolly good. ::brushes some blue hair behind her ear::

Now. Since we skipped class we're behind but we've always been behind so it's no big deal, we'll just have a few frantic classes before your final while you're busy having frantic classes in all your other periods so at least this class will blend in nicely. Now today we will be studying this :: holds up a roll of a shiny silvery film:: It is known in the muggle world as duct tape. This is sometimes all that holds things together in that world. Allow me to demonstrate ::Snaps her fingers and a skater type appears, looking rather confused as she grabs the chain hanging out of his pocket and yanks on it:: You may go ::opens the wallet attached to the chain:: Robert. ::snaps her fingers and he disappears:: Wallet's are a common item, car, pipes, art projects, and ferris wheel count amongst other examples.

::peels off come duct tape and tapes it to her orange cat's head:: cat's HATE duct tape so don't tape it to them::

Ne: But Madam, didn't you just-

I: Do as I say, not as I do, Neville. Anyway. Duct tape is like the Force, it's got a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together. I hope you're taking notes you'll be tested on this later. Now unlike the Force the light side of the duct tape is the sticky side, the one you're more drawn to when in fact the dark side of the Force is where all the folks are drawn to. This is but one of the unique qualities of duct tape. It is relatively easy to tear, it sticks well, and is even strong enough to make clothing out of it should you desire to do so. I'd like to add that I don't recommend it, duct tape clothing has a tendency to chafe. Everyone will finda roll of duct tape on your desks. you have an hour to make something constructive, perhap even pretty and useful, using the full row of duct tape and only a minimal amount of magic. I've restricted the use of magic only to situations where you absolutely can't do it by hand. There will be no sharing of duct tape, no helping one another, if you don't know your spells or how to properly use your wand then I can't help you. Wands are only to be used in the last 15 minutes. The best made object wins a prize that I haven't determined yet but I will determine very soon. Now get started, have fun.

::the class looks at their duct tape then up at her::

Am I speaking some language othr than English?

::they shake their head and get started wadding up their duct tape and taping things together::

Ah... duct tape sculpture... ::sits down at her desk and pries the cat off it before removing the tape:: Sorry honey.. here's some ham :: puts a plate of ham out for him as he sits there digruntled for a moment before eating, then begins rifling through the skater's wallet:: Hmm.. 4 pounds and a nine pence. OH! and something for Zantania :: puts a small baggie aside:: lovely. Oh yes, I've decided juging will take place next class so go ahead and work until the end of class and then you're dismissed. I'd like an essay from each of you on how you found the duct tape to work with and... some other stuff... ::lights a clove:: have fun.
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